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| This year many sad things happened but I'm joyful throughout the year. The reason I can be joyful not because I stand apart from the sad things but because, as a Christian, being joyful should be my way of living. No matter any circumstances, God is always with me. Peace is always with me.
The saddest thing upset me the most is many people around my friends or I know passed away. I can't remember how many times I was informed such bad news. Death, this issue is not an issue far away from me this year. Every night lying on bed before I get into sleep, I think about death. I think about how I am sorrowful if any person in my family pass away (That's why I always tell people that we have to treat better our family because we don't have much chance. We have to spend more time with them because we don't have much time.). I think of the scene of myself lying in a gasket and being viewed by the visitors in my funeral. I'm scared of the painful and terrible fatal illness that I may have when I die away. Death, I can do nothing to get rid of it. I cans't escape from it. All I can do is prepare for it. I read a post about death in Xanga. It wrote that we can't pretend there's no such thing. We have to realize that someday we all die (though I believe we'll live forever in the heaven). It is a good point. If we think we can live forever so that we play or work all time, we're just some kind of playing or working machines. We'll sidetrack something meaningful in life. So, how we can prepare death is to realize someday we'll die. Then, we will do something meaningful in our lives beacuse life is not just playing, drinking, shopping and working. Secondly, if we don't want to die so badly, we should have a proper living style. Many long-lived healthy people do eat healthy and work out regularly. You know, good health always beats the illness.
Another sad thing is I had been hurt (which means I'm now completely fine) by a girl. This girl's one of a kind and basically a very nice and great girl but the way she handled the things is not very right. After I got hurt, I spent quite a lot of time on retreat and praying alone at church (be frank, I went clubbing and pubbing "regularly" as well). I learnt a lot from the Brothers (that is the seminarians). I really aspire the Brothers are so obedient and faithful to admit to the priesthood. Month by month talking with them, it gradually changed how I see the things and deal with the bad time. I can always be happy without a girl, like what Paul wrote, "I should like you to be free of anxieties. An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But a married man is anxious about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and he is divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is anxious about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy in both body and spirit. A married woman, on the other hand, is anxious about the things of the world, how she may please her husband" (1 Cor 7:32 - 34). I can say I can live without a girl and I'll be always happy all the time. Even though I can't treat her as a soul-mate or true friend anymore but I do thank her, sincerely. I'm grown through this thing. I'll still treat her as one of my good friends.
This year, I did have some sort of happy things but the lunch time is over. I'm can't write anymore because I gotta work now. Lastly, I'm proud to say I have checked Joy and Peace out of the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit. Thank God! Praise God! | | |
| A friend of mine talked about her problems that she always handle the things in wrong ways and made wrong decisions. If people know her very well, people can easily see her problems because it's too obvious. Many times I gave her advices, she didn't listen. You can guess the consequence - She ate the fruit of her own wrong doing. I asked her whether she regret for the aftermath or not. She said no. But, as a friend, I feel pity for her.
I majored in industrial engineering. I have learnt a lot of decision making skills. There are some systematic ways for us to make a right decision without regret. But sometimes we don't really need any systematic methods to make a decision. We don't need to draw a tree diagram listing down the possible outcomes and calculate their opportunities. Like my friend, sometimes we miss some simple steps before make a decision or do the things. All the things we need to do are - pray and think twice. So when it comes to make a decision about someone or something that you are not sure about whatever it's a financial, work, study or even romantic decisions (That's why there are lost of divorce or heart-broken people). We should gather all the necessary information, then stop before making a decision. Step out of the situation for a moment. Go somewhere quiet, like even if it's just the bathroom and I prefer go to church. Pray. We can pray for God's guidance and the wisdom. And then, ask yourself, "Yes or No", or "Go or No Go"?
The steps of "pray" and "think twice" are to avoid impulsive behavior. These two steps stop us to make the decision immediately without assess the situation. The major difference between human and animals is we don't follow our feeling. We can resist to follow our own feeling. We withstand the feeling if we are hungry. We don't piss anywhere if we are in need. We can analyze the situation. Do the analysis as much as we can, recall the lesson we learnt though our similar experiences in the past, and then stop. Clear our mind. Figure out the best decision. Think about all possible outcomes and which are the most favorable.
Most of what we're looking for... we already know. | | |
| Yesterday was my Big Sister’s wedding. As her good friend and I also witnessed what has happened few years ago, I was definitely happy for them. During the speech of the husband, the bride was so touched and tore. The moment was so touching.
Later that night, I thought about the setback in love I experienced this year. I was completely heartbroken (but I got over it now). I finally learnt love was supposed to be something women chased, not men. Girls are vulnerable and even stupid in love. They don’t care about how bad the one they love is. They feel the affection, then they just love the bad one. Guys, don’t expect when you treat your loved one very well, the lucky one will love you back. There is no such thing in the world. The girls may even treat you in wrong and unfair ways. Human's love is all about feeling but not about sacrifice. So, wise up in love.
With some false love stories of my friends, I have a new perceptive in love. I can say I don’t believe in love between man and woman. Many people think love is supposed to last forever. But love is not always like that. It comes anytime; it goes anytime. Occasionally true love stays for a life time, just like my good friend and our parents. However, most of the time love only stays for a very short period. So I say, accept love when it simply hits on you but don’t be surprised and sad when it leaves, either.
Just be glad you had the chance to feel the love, touch it and experience it. | | |
| Yesterday, Francis@Choir asked me why I have so many friends celebrating my birthday. I answered him I didn't do anything. My friends prepared all for me. The night I realized I'm so blessed that God has sent so many angels to cheer me up, give me comforts, and of course protect me (that is their advices to remind me better do this or not to do that). Two years ago, a little thing made me lost my confidence in people, in turn, I was so stupid to isolate myself from my friends. I was addicted to workout so intensively and use to pray alone in church. I only trust God, my family and my some of best friends. This year, something let me down again. I shared my bad feelings to some of my friends and had their comforts. They raised me up and wiped my tears. They are so nice to me. However, these two years, I didn't do anything for my friends, no one single thing. I found myself is the one can't be trusted but not others. They are always faithful to me. Jesus said, "No one has greater love than this - to lay down one's life for one's friends." (John 15:13). He said no any love beats the love of friendship. We can see, in Jesus' eyes, friends are very important in our lives. Jesus didn't ask us to love him first. He asked us to love one another first. The geek word for the love of friend and family is "Philia". Only "Agape", the divine and unconditional God's love, is greater than "Phila". So friends' and family's love is greater than other types of love on earth. I think I got no chance to sacrifice my life for my friends but I can say if my friends need me, I'd do anything I can to give them helps. Tonight, my friends, I wanna take this chance to apologize for the time I put you aside, for the time you need help but I didn't reach my hands, for you in bad mood I didn't give you comfort, for anyone of your birthdays I missed, and for anything I did wrong to you. To me, there are no such best friends, good friends, casual friends or beer friends in the world. Friends are friends. And friends are friends forever. | | |
| The world was surprised when the Nobel Peace Prize Committee announced the year 2009 winner. Barack Obama, the US president, is the winner this year. There is no doubt that Obama is a charming and outstanding leader. Not like the former US president, Obama's speech is brilliant, convicing and full of humor. The new US president is no longer a troublemaker. He did some great jobs in economy recovery. People outside US like the new US president, even the young people who never care about politics also like him. However, the world has a question: What did he do for peace-making? Obama said he was surprised. The reason why he's surprised because, I think, he realize that he hasn't done any peace-making accompishment. Why would the commmittee give him the prize? I later read some articles about the news that the prize can be a call to action. Some previous winners were awarded the prizes in order to courage them to do the solid peacemaking works. Hopfully, the prize will motivate Obama in turning the hopeless hope of world peace in action. I hope he will better utilize his power and influence to make the world more peacful. Last week, I beated a scrapper in a shopping mall. I have no idea why I would do that at the moment. Maybe I got furious by his "F" words. Maybe I think I could knock him out by ten seconds. Maybe I am basically a head buster. But one thing for sure is I really did a wrong thing. I felt excited and happy to drop him within ten seconds but I more feel regretful about it. The peace prize reminded me that not only the winner need to do something for peace. I also need to do something for peace in my community. Lastly, I want to to sum up this entry by a passage: "With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love, striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace." (Ephesians 4:2-3) Mother Teresa is the Nobel Peace Prize Winner in 1976. Besides Lord Jesus, she is another person I respect the most. Her works help the poorest of the poor in the world and also make the world more harmonious. May all of us be the peacemaker like Mother Teresa and all other the Nobel Peace Prize Winners by the guidance of Holy Spirit. | | |
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